Need Changes

So I meet up with a poz guy two weeks ago. Afterward I hated myself for meeting up with him. Not sure why. I've been fucked 3 times by a different poz guy. Always bareback. Always taking his load. I've let others breed me without asking their status. So who knows how many other poz loads I've taken.

But I went home and deleted every gay account I had. Manhunt, A4A, and others. One site I couldn't delete, so I just dropped my pictures off of the site. I got rid of all my yahoo email accounts also. So that part of my life was over. Or I hoped it was.

All was good for two weeks. No gays site. No going to adult stores for cock. Just normal life. But then the past few days I've been thinking about cock. I fucked myself in the shower. Shit, what was I going to do?

So I cleaned out my hole this morning. But never had time before obligations to make it to the store. But my meetings got out early. I had time. What do I do? I drive around and then head to Vegas Video. Just to buy new bottle of poppers right? Yes, I buy a new bottle. But then head back to the arcade area. Why? Even when walking back there I keep asking myself why? Stupid me.

I spent about 20 minutes there. I cruised a few guys. One finds me. He enters a booth and pulls his cock out. What should I do? Walk off? Or go suck him? Ya, I suck him. Not a long cock, but it's thick as can be. We trade BJ's. I then ask if he fucks. He says no. Then asks me if I do. Yes I say. He turns me around and pushes it in. Fuck it hurts. He's thick. I hit the new bottle of poppers. Oh that does the trick. He fucks me for only a few minutes and cums inside me.

Shit, I'm back at it. Why?

Old Poz Guy

Two weeks ago I finally meet up with a guy that I have been talking to online for about year. He is in his upper 60's and Poz. His cock looked great and he was into ball stretching and had a few piercings, could be fun. I'm a neg bottom. Not sure why I wanted to meet up with him. He said he was undetectable but guessing that's a lie with his age, not sure. I doubted if I should go to his house (I've only been to two different guys homes before this) and let him fuck me. The whole drive over I thought about turning around. But I made it there. Shit, he was doing yard work and see's my car and everything. I get out of my car and start to walk to his yard as he watches me and as a few kids walk by on the sidewalk. He walks to the back gate and I just follow him. We go to his side yard, a place outside yet no one could see due to the fences and the next house being vacant. I just pull my pants off, not wanting any small talk. He followed my lead and we get to business. I go on my knees and worship his cock. It grows but never really gets hard. Damn older guys. Viagra anyone? Please! I do my best to make him hard, and he enjoys ramming it down my throat and making me gag. The metal in his cock, he had frenum piercing kept hitting my teeth. He finally pulls out, get's an old lounge lawn chair and bends me over. Asks one time if I wanted him to rubber up; No thanks, bare please. He fucks me, I take hits of the poppers I brought. It's an ok fuck. Nothing to write home about. Not what I had expected, since he isn't really that hard. He fucks me for about 10 minutes and then flips me over. I'm thinking he wants my legs up to fuck me, but no, he wants to gag me more with his cock. I almost throw up. Not what I like. We 69 some and this forces me over the edge and makes me cum. I'm done. I tell him so, and he is a lil mad. Sorry, once I cum, I'm done. I get dressed and leave. He never did cum.